i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
