Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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