Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
