We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Blood and glitter go together right?
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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