fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
