Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
