That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
