He disabled his match.com account in front of me
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
