I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
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Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
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