i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
No...this little piggys going to the bar
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
