How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
i think i have herpe
just one?
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
being pregnant is like rehab
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Randomize
