I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I'm both gender and math confused
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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