Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Randomize
