I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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