We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
cat food counts as protein by the way
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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