let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
