If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
