i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
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Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
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There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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