Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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