I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
