He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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