So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
