You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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