just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
