bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
