So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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