It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
