yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize