I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
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