LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
