i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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