He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
