Your mouth is God's brothel.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Go christen that room with your naked body.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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