You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
