I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
