I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Randomize
