i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
