trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.