it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize