He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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