Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
