I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
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