His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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