please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Randomize
