my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
