She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Randomize
