Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize