it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
My life is pants optional.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
