I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize