have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
