I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
He's on the porch naked. Help.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
