Betty ford says i'm here all night
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
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