You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
