I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
