Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
