hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
