Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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