so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
